


Six Months Later

by SaraNoH



Series: The Cellist [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-07-16 03:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7249372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraNoH/pseuds/SaraNoH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens in Phil Coulson's life during the six month time jump in the Agents of SHIELD season finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Month 1

There’s barely any room to walk around anymore. What was once a decent-sized bedroom (for a secret base, anyway) is now jam-packed with empty cardboard boxes, a few new pieces of furniture, and impossibly small clothing strewn about. Phil’s eyes sweep over his work for the day, and he nods in satisfaction. He takes a moment to enjoy his pride because he knows Anna—now in full-on nesting mode—is going to flip when she sees the “mess” of his productivity.

Yesterday, the agents on base had been kind enough to throw them a baby shower. May privately confessed that they’d meant to throw it earlier, but per usual, life had gotten in the way. Well, "life" was almost too polite of a term to replace words like Hive, aliens, and total global annihilation. May herself had given them a large stuffed giraffe and a plethora of clothes ranging in size from newborn to toddler—all of them proclaiming the awesomeness of the wearer’s godmother. Mack and Fitz built a custom mobile with slowly spinning miniature Lolas and offered their services in putting together furniture (a favor Phil miraculously hadn’t had to call in). Simmons gifted a dozen cardboard books, and only half of them were related to science. There was even an unmarked package that included a quilt covered in birds and British flags. Phil was touched that Bobbi and Hunter had managed to sneak in a gift.

But there had been a person missing. And that person’s absence still weighs obscenely heavily on Phil’s chest. Two days ago—three weeks after losing Lincoln—Daisy vanished. Phil is pretty sure the shower served as a distraction to keep his mind off the situation for a little bit, and for the most part, it had been successful. But he’d still checked his prosthetic arm a few times during the party to see if the computer had any updates on locating her.

It’s weird. His own daughter, flesh and blood, will be born anywhere in the next four to six weeks. In five days’ time, Anna will be considered full term, and yet Phil can’t shake the feeling that his firstborn has run away from home. He knows that Daisy's spent most of her life on her own, bouncing around from shelter to foster house to van; if anything, her S.H.I.E.L.D. training has made her even more capable of being able to live on her own and take care of herself. He teases himself with the thought that maybe she’ll hook up with Bobbi and Hunter, and the three of them can help take care of one another. Clint, who is still hanging around the base after his time spent in an underwater prison, has offered to try and track her down, but Phil won’t waste the manpower and time. Daisy is fully in the wind, and no one—not him, Mack, Simmons, or May—can convince her to come back. No use in sending Clint out after her. 

“Phil?” Anna calls out, breaking him out of his thoughts.

“Back here,” he loudly answers. He can hear her shuffle through their open kitchenette and living area before the bedroom door creaks open. “I know it’s a mess, but—“ 

His words cut off when he sees that Anna is staring at the white crib tucked into the corner. Her eyes tear up, and she slowly walks over and lightly runs her hand over the railing. “Is it okay?” he asks, walking up behind her and resting his hands on her shoulders.

She nods and sniffles. “Damn hormones,” she mutters. “Ready to be done with them.”

Phil smiles and moves his real hand down to her stomach. He can feel their daughter try to stretch, but she’s quickly running out of room. “What did the doctor say?”

“Still right on track. Get to go every week now.”

“I could go with you now, if you want,” he offers. With HYDRA officially wiped out, the world’s attention is more focused on the breakdown of the Avengers. The team of superheroes have become targets a few times by hot shots who think they’ve found the perfect chance to gain some power. Even though they used to be his responsibility, Phil is happy to let the Avengers deal with the earth’s scourge. 

Anna chuckles. “You and I both know that if there isn’t a fight or emergency situation going on around you, you don’t handle medical things all that well.”

Phil shrugged. “I can use my imagination.”

Anna shakes her head before looking around their bedroom. “You did all of this?”

“Yep,” Phil answered.

“By yourself?” she asks with a hint of uncertainty in her voice.

“I can build things.” When she doesn’t respond, he sighs. “I’ll have Mack give it a once-over before the baby comes.”

“Thank you.”


	2. Month 2

Phil can’t keep his leg from bouncing. He catches Anna looking at his knee and then smiling up at him. “What?” he asks.

“Our daughter is about to be born on the day we’ve been planning, at the time the surgery was scheduled, and--hopefully--with no surprises. This couldn’t have gone more Phil Coulson if we tried, and you’re still nervous?” Anna questions.

“Regardless of how well she’s showing my sense of timeliness, I am a few minutes away from becoming a father,” Phil points out.

“Fair enough,” Anna responds. She’s all set to go on the operating table. Both of them wear those floppy blue hair nets, and Phil is gowned in scrubs. 

The doctor, a former S.H.I.E.L.D. employee (not that Anna knows, or needs to know, that), makes her entrance into the operating room. “Well, kids, are we ready to get this show on the road?” Nancy McClellan asks. Phil and Anna nod in response. “Ten blade,” she commands with an outstretched hand to the scrub nurse.

Phil swallows and grips Anna’s nearest hand tighter. A curtain blocks their view of the surgery, which Phil is okay with for right now. His heart quickens as he and Anna silently listen to the orders from the doctor and reports from the other people standing around the operating table. He’s familiarized himself with the process of a Caesarian section as best as his non-medically trained mind can understand, which meant watching a lot of YouTube videos. And Anna is right, as usual. He’s glad that everything so far has gone to plan. He can’t imagine helplessly having to watch Anna labor for hours on end. But even the short surgery seems like it’s going to be an eternity.

“You’re going to feel some pressure,” McClellan warns Anna, and she nods her acknowledgement.

Then all the waiting is over. All of it. Not just the surgery, but the need he’s felt deep in his bones for decades. The one he’s spent nearly as long trying to tamp down and bury completely. Because there, being held up in the air in a near _Lion King_ fashion, is a screaming baby. His screaming baby. His daughter.

Anna lets out a joyful sob, and it takes all of Phil’s might not to do the same. McClellan and a nurse maneuver the operating table setup so the newborn can rest on Anna’s chest. Phil helps Anna pull down the collar of her gown so that mother and daughter can share skin to skin contact. Someone covers the baby with a blanket, and Anna starts to murmur a greeting. Instantly, the baby stops crying and settles down, big eyes trying to focus on her mother’s face.

Phil wants time to stop. Freeze entirely. He’d gladly spend the rest of his life in that horrid memory machine if it meant he could live here forever. 

“Want to cut?” McClellan asks, and it takes him a moment to realize he’s the one who’s supposed to answer. The doctor guides him in severing the cord and then his focus immediately turns back to his daughter. “We need to get Mom here closed up and baby bathed and measured,” McClellan says. “Want to carry her over to the incubator? The nurses will take it from there.”

“Sure,” Phil manages to respond around the lump in his throat.

Gingerly, he lifts the baby off of Anna’s chest, and she immediately starts to squall again. “It’s alright,” he tells her softly. “I’ve got you.” The baby calms down again at the sound of his voice, and Phil swears he can feel his heart grow five sizes bigger. A nurse smiles and takes his daughter from him, promising to give her back soon. Another nurse puts her hand on his elbow and guides him out of the operating room, telling him that they’ll set him up in Anna’s recovery room. He nods blankly and lets the nurse lead the way.

The room is simple: a bed, a couch that probably folds out into a bed, a bathroom, and a rocking chair. Phil picks the last piece of furniture as his seat while he waits. His brain tries to piece together what all has happened in the last thirty minutes but pretty much short circuits instead. His phone is continuously vibrating on the window sill, but he ignores it. He knows it’s his crew wanting pictures and details, and he’ll give them as soon as he has them, but for now he just wants to sit and try and take everything in.

Anna gets brought back first. Tearfully, he kisses her and makes sure she’s okay. “Anything I can do?” he asks.

She shakes her head. “You’ve--“ Her words get choked up, and she shakes her head. “I’ll tell you thank you for changing my life for the better when I can get the words out.” 

“How do you feel?” he questions, eyes taking a quick intake of her appearance.

“Pain meds won’t wear off for a while, so I’m good.”

“Guess we really have to finalize that name, don’t we?” he points out.

“Unless you want her to be ‘baby girl’ for the rest of her life, now might be a good time,” she answers.

It’s not like that haven’t run through a thousand names. They have. But the one never-ending debate is the last name. Anna always wants to list Coulson on the birth certificate, but Phil refuses every time. He doesn’t want to, but he knows he should. Even if Anna’s story of getting inseminated with sperm he donated before the Battle of New York can be believed by her sister, Phil knows there are too many other people out there who know differently. And while those people are still smart enough to search databanks for the last name of Ellis, Phil doesn’t want to hand over information on a silver platter. His enemies will have to work just a little bit harder for it if they want to try and pull something.

But before they can get into another debate about surnames, a nurse wheels in a mobile bassinet with a smile. “Here she is, all nice and cleaned up for you,” the nurse reports. She goes into a list of details: weight, length, and what all happened when they took her back to the nursery. Phil’s brain--the part that never stops doing his job--logs the facts away to be studied later. But the rest of his mind is focused on the incredibly tiny baby wrapped in a gender-neutral blanket and sporting a pink knit hat. The nurse makes her exit after promising to come back to check on everyone later and showing Anna where the call button is. 

“Take her,” Anna tells him. “Surprised you didn’t lunge for her as soon as she was in the room.”

He can’t even make a retort at her comment. They both know it would be an egregious lie. Phil scoops up the baby, who fusses a little at once again being disturbed, and brings her to Anna’s bedside. With a grimace and slow movements, Anna scoots over so all three of them can sit in the hospital bed. Phil sweeps the pink knit cap off of the baby’s head to take in dark hair that looks like it’s ready to curl at the edges. Remembering that babies lose heat through their head, he replaces the cap quickly, not wanting to make his daughter uncomfortable. “What do you think?” he asks Anna. “Which name fits best?”

Anna uses a fingertip to take in the curve of the baby’s cheek. “I still like your grandma’s name.”

“And middle name?” he asks.

“Her godmother, and undoubtedly one of her fiercest protectors,” Anna answers.

Phil nods. “You know her last name--“

“I know,” Anna admits softly with regret. “Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“She’s still mine, regardless of what her last name is,” Phil points out. “And she’s so much more than I ever thought I’d get. Her last name could be Stark, and I don’t think I’d care that much, honestly.”

Anna elbows him and then steals the baby of out of his arms. The three of them stay huddled together until the two loves of Phil’s life drift off to sleep. He’s tempted to join them, but instead, he climbs out of the bed with as little movement as possible and goes for his cellphone. Opening up the group text with his agents, he types the following:

_Born at 10:32. 6lb2oz. 19 inches. Anna and baby are fine. Pictures later. Name: Eliza May Ellis_

He’s about to shut off his phone so that his new little family can enjoy some peace and quiet when it buzzes in his hand. _Congrats, Pops._ He feels his blood pressure start to rise since the message is from an unknown number. But then the two words are followed by an emoji of a daisy.


	3. Month 3

“Come in,” Phil says, just loud enough to be heard when the knock sounds on his office door. May walks in extra quietly—not that she’s normally loud anyway —and the corner of her mouth turns up. “She’s sleeping better,” she whispers, eyes locked on four-week-old Eliza softly snoring on Phil’s chest.

“Not sure she could’ve slept worse for the first two weeks,” Phil replies.

“She’s too nosy like her father. Feels like she has to know everything about everyone.”

Phil gives his dear friend a dirty look. “I’m only like that because of our line of work.”

“Speaking of work, aren’t you on the wrong side of the desk?” May asks. “No way that chair is more comfortable.”

Phil burrows deeper into the indeed less-comfortable seat across from his desk instead of behind it. Eliza holds her breath for a second, unconsciously deciding if the small movement is something worth throwing a fit over. Thankfully, she sighs and goes back to snoring. 

“Actually,” Phil says, “that’s why I called you in here. Have a seat.”

May eyes the chair Phil usually sits in but instead perches on the edge of the desk. That is, until Phil glares at her and she moves to sit in his chair with pursed lips.

“You know our original plan?” Phil asks.

“The one where I’m not supposed to fully take over for you for another five years? The one where you assumed you wouldn’t fall completely head over heels for our daughter, which we all knew you would? That plan?” 

Phil smiles and looks down at the top of his daughter’s head. Her tiny hands are fisted in his shirt, and he can’t remember life without her. Obviously, he has memories; parenthood doesn’t create amnesia. It may try with its lack of sleep, but that’s not what he means. His life was incomplete without her. He knew that on the surface before she was born, but then, he held her and drowned in the realization. 

“Something like that,” he says. “I never wanted to be Director, not at any point of my career. It’s not my strength, and it shows.”

“You’re not that bad at it,” May replies.

“You don’t have to suck up. I already filled out your annual report.”

“So when are you stepping down?” she asks. “Two years? One?”

“Right now,” he tells her. She studies his face for a moment, looking for signs of those two words being some sort of a joke or trick, but it’s not. She’s known him for over twenty years; she should realize when he’s being honest and not trying to pull something on her.

“Why now?”

“Priorities changed,” he answers with what he knows is a wistful smile. He can’t help it, and he doesn’t want to. “I’ll stay on as an agent. Consult with you if and when you want me to.”

“And if you disagree with a call I make?” May challenges.

“Then I don’t get to say anything. Not when I walked away on my own accord. You think Nick would’ve made all same calls I have?” May snorts her answer, and Phil nods in agreement. “I don’t think so either. But he hasn’t come out of the woodwork to chew out my ass.”

“Wish he would,” May says softly. “Show back up, I mean. Not necessarily take your head off.”

“Yeah, but you’d still watch that, too,” Phil replies. “You heard from him lately?”

May shakes her head. “Not in a few months. You?”

“About the same. Not that he ever says much when he does contact me. And God forbid he offer advice.”

“I would’ve thought he would’ve found a way to sneak in a present for her arrival.”

Phil shrugs a shoulder. He’d kind of hoped Fury would’ve done that, but he knew in Fury’s mind that there were bigger fish to fry in the world than sending a baby shower gift. “So what do you think about the job?”

May pauses a moment before asking, “What conditions are you holding back?”

“Just one: I run the search for Daisy.”

“Phil—“

“Don’t say I’m too close,” he argues. “I am, but so is everyone else. There isn’t anyone left who isn’t too close to her.”

“Yeah, I guess,” May sighs. “Give me a day to think about it?”

“Sure, take your time,” Phil responds.

“Want me to take my goddaughter for a bit so you and Anna can have some time alone? Or some time to sleep without a baby waking you up?”

“The latter,” Phil answers. “Definitely the latter.” He slowly rises from his seat and shifts Eliza from his arms to May’s. “You sure you up to this?”

“Would I have offered if I didn’t want to?” she challenges.

“True,” Phil admits. “I’ve got diapers stashed in here. She’ll need a bottle in an hour. There’s—“

“A can of formula in the second cabinet to the left in the kitchen, as well as clean bottles,” May finishes for him. “Now get out so we can have some girl time.”

“Thanks,” Phil said before brushing a kiss on Eliza’s forehead. When he gets back to his quarters, he fully expects Anna to have been taking advantage of being baby-free by doing something like napping, taking a long shower, laundry, or playing her cello for a reason other than to soothe their sobbing daughter. Instead, he finds her pacing the width of the main living area. “What’s wrong?” he asks.

“Did you arrange this?” she questions holding her phone up to his face.

He scans the email on the screen with the subject line _Job Opportunity_ and shakes his head. “I swear, this wasn’t me.”

“Pepper?” Anna questions.

“You’d have to ask her.” He reaches out and rests his hands on Anna’s shoulders. “You know you could’ve also gotten this on your own merit, right?”

Anna shrugs off his physical contact. “My life has felt pretty manipulated at times in the last couple of years,” she mutters. “Sorry,” she adds quickly. “I just— This sounds amazing, and—“

“You’ve earned it,” Phil reassures her. “Tell me about it.”

“How do you feel about Indiana?”


	4. Month 4

“Keep your blindfold where it is,” Phil warns. “No peeking.” Anna sighs unhappily at him but compiles. Phil opens the back door the unmarked car and smiles down at Eliza, secured in her car seat. “Did you wake up from your nap?” he asks quietly. “Did you sleep well?” The baby smiles and kicks her legs as her answer. While Phil adores her smiles and new reactions to her surroundings, he still can’t wait for her to start finding her voice. But at least she’s settled into a routine. A routine Phil is about to disrupt, but hopefully for the better. 

He removes the car seat from its base and checks his phone. The security system for the location once again confirms that they’re the only people the property and there’s no threat. Still, Phil hesitates on leaving his daughter inside unsupervised, even for thirty seconds. Thus, he sets her down on the porch in plain sight. “Be right back,” he promises her before moving back to the car.

He opens the passenger side door and helps the blindfolded Anna up and out of the car. “You know my preferences lean more towards restraints than blindfolds,” she says. 

“I’m aware,” Phil replies, “but it’s part of the whole surprise thing.” He slowly spins her to face the house and removes the blindfold. “Happy birthday.”

Anna’s eyebrows rise in surprise. “A house? You bought a house?”

Phil shrugs. “'Bought' might not be the right word. Transferred the deed of a safe house into my possession as one of my last acts as a Director is more like it.”

Anna’s face falls. “Safe house?”

“Just come inside before you start judging too much. C’mon.” He takes her by the hand and leads her to the front door. Once he unlocks the biometric security system, he opens the door for her. “Go snoop. I’ll change Eliza’s diaper while you check things out.” Anna gives him one more dubious look before slipping inside the house. Phil darts back to the car to grab Eliza’s diaper bag before picking her up in her car seat and bringing her inside the house. “Your Mom isn’t impressed so far,” he tells her quietly. “Hopefully I can pull this off. She deserves a good birthday present, don’t you think?” Eliza is too focused on the frog lovey he’s placed in her hands as a diaper change distraction to show any kind of response to his question. Once she's all cleaned up, he picks her up and holds her against her chest. “What do you think of this place? Hmm?” he asks. “Think you’d have a good childhood here?”

The house is small but furnished. A renovated farm house in southern Indiana, it was one of Nick’s old safe houses. Phil took it over thanks to its proximity to Anna’s new job. The main house has three bedrooms and two baths upstairs. The downstairs includes an open floor plan for the kitchen, dining area, and living room. There is a guest house with a few spare rooms a hundred feet away from the main home. It also includes a secure communications line and office Phil can use when needed. And thirty feet below, there is a hangar carved out of an old limestone quarry that can house a Quinjet. 

The property itself covers fifty acres. It is private enough for their life but still close enough to town to make commuting easy and errands feasible. Bloomington is a sleepy college town, which is probably what his family needs. Even if Phil has no idea how to handle a slow, quiet, country life. He walks Eliza out to the enclosed back patio and looks over the landscape. “How about that big back yard? Big enough backyard for you to explore? Should we build you a tree house? I had one of those when I was a kid. They were fun.”

Once Phil thinks Anna has had enough time to explore, he seeks her out. She’s standing in the middle of the nursery, the one room Phil made sure to have fully decorated and set up in case they ended up spending the night here before going back to base to grab the rest of their belongings. There’s a collage of Eliza’s newborn photos on the wall, board books stacked on the bookshelf, and Eliza’s crib and furniture moved from the base into her new room. Well, hopefully her new room. “Well?” he asks.

“I’m still thinking,” Anna answers. “But this is a nice touch.”

Phil smiles. “Gotta help my chances anyway I can. What are your reservations?”

Anna shrugs. “I haven’t stayed put in one place in a decade. And this job, teaching at the school of music and filling in at two different symphonies— It's still hard to believe I earned it on my own my merit. You’re sure it will be enough to cover all our bills?”

“Positive,” Phil replies. “And I’m still getting paid to, remember. And, if when I fully step away from S.H.I.E.L.D., I have to get a job instead of being your trophy husband, I’ll survive.” 

Anna scoops Eliza out of his arms. “What do you think, baby girl? You okay living here?” Eliza waves her arms excitedly, probably more for getting to be in contact with her mother than her new bedroom. “What about S.H.I.E.L.D.? How’s that going to work for now?”

Phil takes a seat in the glider set up in the corner of the room. “I’ve been partnered with Mack. Our sole task is finding Daisy.” 

“Any leads?” Anna asks.

“Some. We’re trying to track her old contacts to see if she’s been talking to any of them. We have a limited directory of those that were in her mother’s compound.”

“You think she’s going to try and rebuild Afterlife?” Anna questions.

“I don’t know. Part of me doesn’t even care. Just want to make sure she’s okay.”

“So what do we do when I have to work and you’re out searching for Daisy?”

“I’ve got a list of people willing to help in and watch over her. Clint, May, even Fitz volunteered for when I’m gone with Mack.”

The corner of Anna’s mouth tipped up. “Those two going to shack up in the third bedroom?” 

“That’s your music studio, if you want it to be. There’s a guesthouse in back, with my office.”

“So none of your work inside of the house?” Anna asks.

“Maybe a phone call or two, but the goal is to keep everything out there.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Anna mutters. And he can’t really blame her for it.

“So what do you think? Good enough birthday present?”

“Certainly a big enough present—and if you comment on how it matches the size of my age now that I’ve crossed into a new decade, there will be no sex for you for a while ,” Anna says. She takes another spin around the room, Eliza burrowing deeper into her hold as they pace. “Are you really willing to do all of this? Walk away?”

“Absolutely,” he answers without hesitation.

“Then when do we move in?”


	5. Month 5

Phil sighs and rolls his neck, the cracks and pops echo in the quiet office. “I don’t know what else to do,” he mutters.

Mack softly grunts an agreement. “If she doesn’t want to be found, she’s not going to be.” 

“Remind me to stop training people so well,” Phil replies. “Fitz have any luck with his searches?”

Mack shrugs his broad shoulders. “Still runnin’ ‘em, I guess. Or he’s done but too distracted playing peek-a-boo with Eliza in the house.”

Phil looks over at the clock on his desk. “He was supposed to put her down forty minutes ago. It doesn’t take that long for her to fall asleep. Ten minutes of walking around with her while she fusses, and then she’s out.”

“He’s not always the greatest at respecting bed times,” Mack points out. 

Phil didn’t ask him to expound on that, and he could practically feel Anna’s disappointment. “Maybe I should check on them.”

“Check on who?” Fitz asks as he walks into the room.

“Eliza okay?” Phil questions.

“Out like a… Well, like a sleeping babe.” He points to a wet spot near his left shoulder. “Had to do some clean up from a little spit up. Where are we?” 

“Nowhere,” Mack sighs unhappily. “You got anything?”

“Still running my search,” Fitz answers. “Should take another hour.”

“How thorough did you make the algorhythm if it’s going to take that long to search for her?” Phil asks.

“Knowing Daisy? Probably not thorough enough,” Fitz replies. “Where’s Anna?”

“Spending the night in Indianapolis, playing with their symphony,” Phil answers. “Told her stay in a nice hotel room up there tonight instead of driving back and forth. Have some time to herself.”

“She doing any better?” Fitz asks gently, concern evident in his voice.

Phil considers his answer. Anna’d spent the first three days of their daughter’s life in a manic state—afraid to fall asleep and have something terrible happen while she was unconscious. Once Eliza outlived her firstborn, Anna’s fears morphed into not knowing what to do. Despite doctors, Phil, and basically everyone telling her that Eliza would be fine and healthy, Phil knew Anna never truly believed it. That little sack of doubt swelled and brimmed over on Eliza’s fourth day of life, and since then Phil's been helping Anna deal with things.

She’d dealt with anxiety and depression most of her life. Her mental health were made worse when she’d lost a son, husband, and her father all within a year. Phil knew he hadn’t done anything to make her feel better for most of their relationship . He’d desperately hoped that moving away from a base and doing his best to focus on family and letting Anna grow in her career as a cellist would help ease her worry, and it had somewhat. But postpartum depression was definitely a factor in their life. 

“Better,” Phil finally answers. “Still not all the way back, but more good days than bad days. How are things back at the base?” Fitz and Mack look at each other, carrying on a conversation using only facial expressions and body language . “Spill,” Phil orders, even though he technically doesn’t have any level of command over them anymore.

“May’s not a fan of running things,” Mack answers.

“No one is a fan of running things. I hated it. Fury hated it.”

“But May really hates it,” Fitz says. “I think if anyone but you had left her the job, she would’ve passed it on to someone else by now.” 

“That bad?” Phil questions.

Mack shrugs. “She just doesn’t seem happy with it. She gets bored without things to punch and break.”

“She’ll get used to it,” Phil says.

The two other men exchange another look before Fitz shakes his head. “I don’t think she will. I think she’s trying to find a replacement. She’s been taking trips and meeting with agents in other places.”

Phil feels a surge of guilt for leaving May with a job she doesn’t want. But he knows she’s an adult, and a smart and responsible one at that. She’ll find her way out of it. And then, he’ll send her an apology bottle of expensive scotch. 

His phone starts to buzz, and he looks down to see Anna’s code name on the screen as the incoming call. “How was the concert?” he asks as he leaves the guest house office and steps outside into the night air. It’s still a little muggy, despite the fact that fall is approaching.

She pauses a moment before saying, “I know you tried really hard to give me a night to myself, but how mad will you be if I come home?”

“Not mad at all. What’s wrong?” he asks, his stomach trying to churn. She sounds like she’s trying not to cry. He hates when she sounds like that, especially when she’s on the other side of a phone conversation. “Do you want me to come get you? Send a car?”

“Since I just parked the car in the driveway, not necessary,” she answers. 

He shakes his head and starts walking around the house to the front. “What were you going to do if I’d said that I wanted you to stay where you were and have a night to yourself?”

“Drive back to Indianapolis, I guess,” she answers.

He ends the call so she won’t hear him sigh. She’s standing next to her car, arms wrapped around herself, and even in the darkness Phil can make out a look on her face that cries lost. “C’mere,” he whispers, slowly and gingerly hugging her to his chest. “What happened?”

“We played… Shit, I can’t even remember the name of it now. But it was what I was playing when we all started getting news alerts that S.H.I.E.L.D. had fallen and I was so worried about losing you again. And even though that I knew you and Eliza were fine and safe here, my mind just spiraled and I couldn’t get out of it.” 

He breathes her name into her hair before kissing her forehead. “It’s okay,” he says, trying in vain to reassure her. “We’re all fine.”

She shakes her head violently and springs free from his hold. “I’m not,” she replies sharply. “Clearly I’m not. This isn’t getting better, Phil. I know I shouldn’t be acting like this. I can see that I’m being crazy, but I can’t stop it. I keep trying to stomp on the brake, but nothing stops or even slows down. I don’t know what to do anymore. And you’ve tried so hard to make everything better, and I’m so grateful for that, but I don’t know what to do. I just know I can’t do this anymore.” 

Her words break his heart. His mind goes back to when he couldn’t stop carving. It’s the closest thing he has to compare to what she must be going through, and even that doesn’t feel like enough in his mind. He feels as lost as she does, but for different reasons. He’d do anything to get her to calm down, to be able to spend just a day wholly at peace with herself. To see her as he sees her.

“We’ll figure it out,” he says for probably the billionth time, each utterance sounding a little more like a lie than the last. “I promise.”


	6. Month 6

Phil walks into his home beyond exhausted. Mack didn’t even bother walking through the house proper, instead electing to walk around to the guest house where Fitz—who’d flown in just ahead of them—was waiting to meet him. 

Once inside the door, Phil took in the sights and smells. Anna had cooked, the aroma of her secret lasagna recipe lingering in the air. She’d already texted to let him know that leftovers were waiting for him in the fridge. His mouth had been watering non-stop ever since he read the message.

A high-pitched squeal draws Phil’s attention to the middle of the living room floor. There, Eliza and May lay face-to-face on the carpet. “So that’s how you keep her from sobbing through tummy time,” he comments.

May turns to give him a smirk. “Just call Godmother. I make miracles happen.” 

His daughter, who thankfully remembers him, starts flailing her limbs and cries out for him. He picks her up, and she immediately melts against his chest. “Missed you, too, love,” he whispers before nuzzling his nose into her hair. She smells clean and pure, like everything he hasn’t been able to experience the last few weeks. He lets himself get lost in the moment for a while, listening to his daughter coo at him and fist handfuls of his shirt in her tiny hands. 

“Where’s Anna?” he asks.

May tilts her head towards the covered back porch while standing. “Any luck?”

“Spotted her, but then she was gone.”

Her lips disappear into a thin, disappointed line. “You know what this means, don’t you?”

“No, I actually spent the entire flight back and the whole three weeks I was gone trying to figure out the order of my favorite James Bond movies. We’ll figure it out.”

“If the Director lets us,” she mutters.

Phil bites his tongue. The second May had stepped down, he and Mack had been tasked to lock themselves away in a hotel room, keeping an eye out for Daisy. He’s missed nearly a quarter of his daughter’s life because May decided after a handful of months that Director was too much of a job and some stranger walked in and took over.

She doesn’t deserve his anger. He knows she feels just as guilty and helpless as he does. But it’s still oh so frustrating. 

Despite his stomach grumbling, he takes Eliza out to the back porch and unsurprisingly finds Anna sitting in the dark on the swing that looks out onto the small field that is the backyard before it drops off into the depth of the limestone quarry their house is built on . The corner of her mouth tips up when she looks over at him. “Hey, stranger,” she greets.

“Hi,” he returns before kissing her soundly. He joins her on the swing, and she easily settles her body against his. Hhe happily wraps an arm around her shoulder so that he has both of his girls in his grasp.

“You smell like sandwiches and stale hotel sheets,” she says.

He huffs a small laugh. “You have no idea.”

“Did you eat?”

“Not yet,” he answers. “Wanted to see you first.”

“I take it from the fact that you didn’t come bouncing out here with a giant grin on your face that you weren’t necessarily successful.”

“She doesn’t want to be found,” he says. “We tried, but she kept slipping through our fingers.”

“So maybe you let her go,” Anna tells him gently. 

“Can’t anymore. Not that I don’t want to, but the Director will have to turn her status and all the case work we’ve done over the National Guard.” He grimaces and shakes his head. “It’s not going to end well.”

“Trust her to make smart choices,” Anna replies.

Phil looks over at her with exhaustion. “She literally knocked over a bank to give the mother and kid some cash. And if our mics were working correctly, she’s trying to set the woman up with her mind-wiped father. Please tell me which of those two things fall under the category of ‘smart choices’?” Anna starts to pull away, but Phil tightens his arm around her shoulders. “I don’t want to come back and fight. Let’s just sit. How are you?”

“Not a fan of the single mom life.”

“I tried to send you people to help out,” Phil pouts. Just a little. 

“S.H.I.E.L.D. agents shouldn’t double as nannies. You took the one good with you on your mission and left me with a mopey Scottsman calling me every few hours to ask when you’re coming back,” Anna retorts.

“We’ll work on it,” Phil concedes. “And what about us? Do we need to work that?”

“Oh, I’m sure there’s something we could improve on,” Anna sighs. “But for now, I’ll agree with you. Let’s just sit.”

For the first time in weeks, Phil tries his best to let everything go. To trust Daisy on her path and set her free from his own worry. Instead, he focuses on his family. It’s something he’s wanted forever but didn’t realize just how much until he had them. Sure, they have a ways to go to figuring out this life they’ve made together, but they’ll get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This might be the end of their little story. Will have to see what the next season of AoS has in store. But I also just kind of want to let this little family be. Regardless, thanks for reading their words.


End file.
